Beyond the Mask

Khushi believed that the past shaped her, but did not determine her present or future. She has always been a happy-go-lucky woman who had a wide range of emotions like most girls she knew, but had a good control over her expressions. She also knew that no emotion, no matter how intense it was, could last long with her. And she was rather pleased about that.

It has been over a decade since she has been working in the corporate sector, dealing with versions of foxes and sharks and dogs. Not to mention she also had her fair share of heartbreaks and disappointments and shocks. Born and brought up in a middle-class Indian family, she even dealt with too much of family interference, unrealistic expectations and demands, and a series of rules and questions that often made her life tough and awkward. So naturally Khushi thought she got it all, she could deal with anything that got in her way. She had learned to wear passive masks at home, at work, with friends and on the streets. She knew expressing her emotions all the time did not help in real life. Sometimes it did, mostly it made matters complicated.

And then one day destiny decided to take Khushi on a roller coaster that disturbed her equilibrium of life significantly.

Khushi had been spending a lot of weekends for a while to approach a dozen NGO and convince the merging of old age homes and orphanages. She met with a hundred debates, went through tons of online research, tried to comprehend the benefits and limitations of the situation, and yet could not give up on the idea. Until finally, she met the man who promised to help her. After a heated conversation with an elderly matron in the dark dirty alley of one of the less popular orphanages one afternoon, Khushi had blindly bumped into Sahil, mumbled a sorry, and tried to scutter away, when the man called back. ‘Hey wait up, give me 5 minutes. It’s important’. Khushi was perplexed, but she gave him the benefit of doubt and waited outside the door, impatiently jerking her knees till Sahil ran up to her 7 minutes later.

Sahil was an investor of the orphanage, and a highly resourceful personnel. He had some big contacts within the film industry and the fashion industry. Khushi noticed he was an average looking man, presentable but could not really be called handsome. His dress code smelled of wealth and diplomacy. He was not in a t-shirt and jeans like the other men his age out on a casual stroll. His full sleeve shirt was buttoned up to his collar, and he had a light blazer on. Sahil spoke about his investments, his successful ventures, and his habit of overhearing other people’s conversations, the latest victim of which was Khushi herself; while Khushi played with the food on her plate, her eyes never leaving Sahil’s face. She was doing her own bit of judgement, unsure why this man was poking his nose in affairs that didn’t concern him.

‘Í have a proposal’ Sahil was saying. ‘I can help you, talk to a bunch of people and get things rolling. It will take time but it will be done. But before that I need to know why you have taken on this mission. Additionally I need a favour from you in return of my help.’ Khushi rose up and flushed ‘I don’t need help, and I can’t do you any favour. Let’s not waste each other’s time anymore’. ‘Sit down dear’, Sahil smiled calmly. ‘Ok forget about the favour, just tell me why you want to do this’. Khushi glared at Sahil for a moment, and sat down looking out of the window grimly. They were silent for quite some time, before Sahil whispered ‘I am in no hurry, but the waiter might be’. Khushi sat still for another 60 seconds, and then started talking.

A year back Khushi had lost her grandmother. She had suffered from a cerebral attack 3 summers back, and had ever since become a helpless and depressed soul. Khushi wanted to be there for her, but she couldn’t give the time in between her work life. Both her parents were near retirement, and had their own bit of anger management to handle. She had hired a nanny to take care of her, but professional help without supervision wasn’t good enough for a frail woman unable to express her discomfort. A few months later when she was capable to walk a little again with the help of physiotherapy, she requested to be sent to an old age home. She felt lonely, unwanted and invalid here, and felt a little change in companionship would lift her spirits. Against their will it was done, but to be honest Khushi felt her family breathe a tiny sigh of relief. That was until her grandmother had one final attack last summer, and she had to be first taken to the hospital and then brought back home. The last few days she had held on to everybody with all her remaining strength. Her frail wrists exhibited tight grips, and her watery greyish eyes reflected a deep, silent and desperate longing. She had lost her voice or her ability to express, but Khushi’s heart pained and her eyes stung every time she looked at the old woman trying so hard to hold on to life and love. One breezy dusk, after choking for breath over 4 hours (no doctors or medicines could help in time no matter how much they all freaked), Khushi’s grandmother smiled one last time and closed her eyes forever, Khushi’s fingers still in her slackened grip.

For weeks and months Khushi couldn’t get that last image out of her head. She kept thinking and recalling that evening, and what else she should have done to save the dying woman. But more than that the loneliness she went through for years made her feel guilty and remorseful. And she realized given the busy life style of people, there are hundreds of grandmothers and grandfathers probably going through the same, waiting alone to die. They didn’t have the capability to work and keep themselves occupied, nor were their children around to give them full time attention anymore. Just like hundreds of children who didn’t have parents to bring them up. That is when the idea of merging old age homes and orphanages occurred to her and she had been surprised to find that for some reason or the other no one seemed to think her idea was worth implementing.

Sahil had been very supportive that day, and had promised to keep her posted on the progress of making her mission a success; only in return of that favor. Khushi had to figure out a way to provide Sahil with financial plans, documents, expenditures and profit details for 3 big companies mentioned by Sahil. The favor seemed too much to her, but Sahil managed to convince her that he was a co-partner of all these companies. He just wanted a cross verification on a regular basis of the plans he already had as he was not sure if the paperwork he was looking into was correct. They were coming through employees he didn’t trust but his partners did, and so this was his secret way of making sure his money was well tended. ‘I would also like to gift you something every time you do me a service.’ Getting twice her salary for hacking the database every time seemed like a reasonable offer. And of course Sahil would help. He was after all a co-partner of those companies and being hired by him to track his own company records didn’t seem to be illegal to Khushi.

Three months later Khushi found herself more interested in the money she was making from Sahil, than her social mission accomplishment results. She met Sahil for lunch or dinner from time to time, and even began to like him a bit. That was until one day, the receptionist of her office called her on intercom and told her to come downstairs. ‘There’s someone here to talk to you’. A man and a woman with indifferent expressions waited to meet Khushi. They called her out and asked to join them for coffee. Khushi was skeptical at first, but gave in when she saw their ID cards that said they were cops.

The coffee remained untouched as Khushi felt her world collapse around her. They had been reported of a huge scam where lakhs of rupees were removed from the accounts of three companies by an untraceable source. A bit of investigation helped them track Khushi down as the hacker. Khushi wasn’t sure what was going on. Sahil was always there to save the day, but where was he in all this. Nervously she wiped her forehead and excused herself to visit the washroom. Inside the washroom she tried to call Sahil. Both his numbers were unreachable. She hurriedly sent a couple of text messages which failed to get delivered. For some strange reason Khushi wasn’t surprised. But she had never felt so alone before. It was a new feeling that Khushi was finding difficult to cope with. Again and again she tried to call, but to no avail.

Fifteen minutes later Khushi plastered a smile to her face and came back to the table with the cops. ‘Madam we need to take you to custody till we have more concrete findings.’, the bony woman smoothly shared. ‘I don’t think that would be necessary. In fact I can give you evidence that there is someone else behind the whole game’ Khushi shared. Both the cops kept staring at her unperturbed. ‘Í met Sahil (damn she didn’t even know his last name), well a few months back and he had hired me to do some personal work for him in return of a help he promised me. I have not dealt with any money at all’. ‘What kind of help Madam?’ the clean shaved man spoke up. Slowly Khushi narrated her story of trying to merge old age homes and orphanages, her story of meeting Sahil and the agreements they made that day. She was careful about skipping the part that involved Sahil paying her for her services. ‘That all makes a great story I enjoyed listening to. Tell me everything about this Sahil and we will take it from there. But till then we still need to have you in custody’. The woman was turning into a pain for Khushi. ‘Ók just let me make a phone call and I will be on my way’ Khushi pleaded.

Khushi walked back to her office accompanied by the cop, ran upstairs and told her boss ‘Sorry Rita I got a family emergency. I may not turn up for the next few days, and my phone might be out of reach’. ‘What? You can’t do this to me Khushi, we got clients coming over tomorrow! Plus there is a ton of reports you still have to send across to Management, I can’t give excuses for you so long.’ ‘Í am so sorry Rita, I promise I will join back as soon as I can. Just don’t try to reach me for a few days, it’s a request’. Khushi’s whole body was visibly trembling by then, probably the reason why Rita did not argue any further. Khushi walked out to the smoking area and called her mom ‘Hey mom, an emergency business trip came up. I got to be out of station for a few days. We got bad connection where we are going, but don’t worry I will call you as soon as I can’. ‘But Khushi, you always let me know beforehand! Are you not going to come home to take your bag at least? What about your belongings you carry to trips?’. ‘Don’t worry they arranged everything here, I won’t need to go back now. I love you mom’. Before she could protest Khushi disconnected the call, hot tears streaming down her cheeks. And then she slid into the adjoining empty store room, closed the door, and cried loudly – heart wrenching wails echoed inside.

Five minutes later, Khushi came down feeling slightly better; hoping and praying Sahil would see her messages and calls and come to her rescue. She stepped out in the bright sun, and her knees buckled at the sight of the faces of the two cops waiting there for her. ‘We have some new information that changes our immediate destination. Our police force had discovered a body tied to heavy stones at the bottom of the lake behind your apartment last night; and his ID card says Sahil Khan. We will visit the morgue on our way to the police station, and see if you can identify the body’.

Khushi’s heart was hammering uncontrollably. Everything around her went dark and cold, although she was sweating more than ever and trembling at the same time. It was the first time in years she had lost control of her life, just the beginning of a long suffocating nightmare. Her muscles had stiffened and she found it difficult to move or talk or react in any way. The lady cop’s grip tightened on Khushi’s wrist, as she began walking mechanically towards the police cab. It was going to be a long day, and a longer ride in the roller coaster of life and emotions she had so well managed to avoid all these years.